One life, MAX IT!

changed my bloggie.. hmms, now oni those closer to me will noe this ba. juz want to let this blog be anonymous. juz my personal thoughts. dun mean to offend anyone or wadever. exams round the corner. should say is in 2 days time.. i haven start revising. totally not in the mood of studying. but have to force myself to study. dun let my thoughts run wild. i'm not those optimistic kind.. juz tt seldom express it out ba, dun feel like telling ppl things.. oso dun like ppl force me to say my problems though i noe they cared.
had been writing letters to frens.. think its betta to tell them things through writing. i'm not t shy.. but quite diffcult for me to tell them suddenly. will spoil their mood? bu zhi dao. >_<
as for her, i felt that i really can't forget this matter. it's like saying sorry after you had hurt someone. really disappointed. those words you once told fy.. i will nv forget. backstabbing.. or should i phrase it in a nice way, saying things that are untrue. that is what you feel only. i din do that, and you accused me of doing it. the worse thing. you din approaach me, and i found out the truth.. nope, is someone told me, not YOU! i was angry that time.. and i juz felt, why should i bother?
had meetings or sitting down trying to sort things out, i had pour out my feelings, unhappiness towards you. but what you do? sitting dere cry and din want to say anything that you are unhappy abt. wanted the middle person to speak for you. too emotional gurl.. i was quite irritated when a person keep asking the same qn.. in an instant, i juz felt i dun understand you anymore. i had decided to lead my own life, with my current close frens.
like what i said to some of my budds, we are having "conflicts" coz the time we spent together is much more now in sec 3. in the previous year, i had been with my grp of frens.. you are with ur own grp. it's only during training and related to np stuffs, den we are together. but now, it's recess, after school, and even going out together.
i dun want to have any meetings to settle this thing anymore. you happy, me happy, everyone will be happy as well. if you have any unhappiness or angry with me, so be it. i'm really tired? sort of. the trust is no longer there. maybe as time goes by, i will be able to forget this matter. telling myself "she had changed totally, can be trusted now."
those happy moments we once had will still be there. but currently, no more close fren in my dictionary for you anymore. i need time. i dun noe how long it will take. juz leave me alone right now. i dun want to care abt anything, juz my studies. my results are deteriorating.. subs failing. i dun wish to let this happen again. dun want disappoint my parents.